Friday, April 1, 2011

Governor dedicates "Mt. Walker Ski Resort"

Mt. Walker on the UW Campus--to be the site of a new ski resort.

Today on the west side of the UW Campus in Madison, Governor Walker was the star of a gala ceremony. It was the dedication of a new ski, golf, and ice fishing resort, on the shores of scenic University Bay.

Many of Madison's top business people attended, including Fred Mohs, who is building the 14-story hotel planned for the ski facilities. The Koch brothers, David and Charles, attended as well, after landing their jet on the ice off Picnic Point. That convenient access by air is going to be a big draw for the new resort.

All but two members of the Wisconsin State Senate attended. Senators Randy Hopper and Dan Kapanke, facing a recall election, rushed home to shore up support. The 14 Democratic senators declined to attend, opting instead to return to Rockford to finish all the Netflix movies they had rented.

Nevertheless, the resort has strong backing from the Wisconsin Ice Fishing Association. They are looking forward to starting on the slopes of Mt. Walker and coasting out to their fishing shacks next January.

Kicking off the ceremony on top of the mount, with a majestic view over the Class of 1918 Wetland and Picnic Point, the Governor said:

"This is all about jobs. And because the University is now OPEN FOR BUSINESS, it won't cost taxpayers a dime. There's going to be 350 new jobs in construction for the hotel. A new superstore for fishermen will go in the Class of 1918 Wetland--that's another 50 jobs. Then there's skimobile rentals for the lake in winter, and the new marina, sheltered by Picnic Point. Yes, Badgers! There's going to be a new golf resort starting below the Hospital, and stretching all the way out to the tip of Picnic Point. Altogether, there will be 500 new jobs!"

Walker continued: "Up to now, it's just been a few birdwatchers and joggers out here. But now, far more citizens can enjoy this wonderful place, doing their favorite motorized sports.

And here's the best part. Our backers the Koch brothers, Fred Mohs, and so many others... are going to donate TEN PERCENT of the profits to education. So all the hype you've heard in the press about budget cuts for education--that's just liberal poo-poo."

After the toasting and the brat eating contest, Walker took questions from throngs of enthusiastic supporters, all of them waving green scarves.

Q: "Isn't having a black ski hill unusual?"

A: "It's all about branding. A successful business fills a unique need. All the other ski areas are white, so this is something really new and special. With black snow, you don't have to worry about sunglasses or sunguard."

Q: "This hill doesn't look very permanent. How long will it last?"

A: "We expect well into May. That's another strong pull for this project. All the other ski areas in southern Wisconsin are closed by March. This hill has more snow than all the other resorts in Wisconsin put together. After the snow's gone, there will be dirt bike racing, muscleboat races, and golf.

Mt. Walker is so high, a snowcap is expected well into May.

Q: "Where did you get the authority to develop this land?"

A: "That's why we split the University off from the rest of the UW System. Didn't you read that bill? It was there, plain as day."

Q: "Wasn't it a setback when Judge  Maryann Sumi enjoined your office from enforcing the budget bill? How do you feel about that?"

A: "Judge Sushi is an activist judge who dabbles in politics, in things that ought to be left to the legislature. I guess she hasn 't heard about, uh... segregation of powers. The people of Wisconsin elected us... we have a mandrake. And besides, the State is broke. So we're not going to write any more checks until the judge gets out of our face. Vote for David Prosser for Supreme Court... if you want a juror who knows his place in our system."

Q: "What about the VA Hospital, over there on the hill."

A: "That's going to be part of the resort, too. Those people in there, those old patients. They get free medical care for life? Is that fair? Most Wisconsinites don't get any health insurance. Do those old guys think they are better than everyone else? Besides, Wisconsin is broke. We have to take a look at all those unfair, unsustainable mandates."

Q: "That's the V.A., a federal facility..."

A: "Yeah, but we can't afford the maintenance, like the trains. Since it's out here on the campus, the State gets stuck with the plowing bill. We've got to be fair to the taxpayer. Since the building is being converted to the Crestwood Casino, Crestwood Corp will handle the plowing. And, yes.. 10% after bonuses and dividends will go to education! Taxpayers won't have to educate other people's kids any more. That's not fair."

More articles about Mt. Walker:
University snow dump could threaten Madison's aquifer
Mountain of dirty snow threatens Lake Mendota

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